Jasmin Lee Cori, M.S. - Author, Mind, Body & Spirit

Just as there can be abuse in any type of relationship, there can be abuse from a spiritual teacher or group. Two defining elements of spiritual abuse are

1) exploitation/betrayal of trust (conscious or unconscious)

2) causing spiritual harm

Exploitation

In exploitation, a person uses a position of authority or a relationship where there is some kind of dependency and trust to take advantage of another. It might be taking advantage financially, sexually, or to meet practical or emotional needs (e.g. having a spiritual student do housekeeping tasks or provide emotional comfort).

In childhood sexual abuse, a person in a position of trust takes advantage of a child to meet their own needs. In spiritual abuse, a person uses a position of spiritual authority (even if self-assigned) to meet needs which really should not be part of this relationship.

This is a betrayal of trust, and these leave deep scars. There is clearly psychological harm. In isolated spiritual communities, people often lose their sense of self, their critical faculties, their connection with the world.

Spiritual Harm

Our spirituality is a very precious part of us; it is where we connect with the innermost nature of our being and with the underlying ground of being. It is where we connect with the divine, however we might conceive of that.

There is spiritual harm when an ideology or powerful figure takes over so completely that a person loses their own compass, capacity for discernment, or trust in their own experience.

There is spiritual harm when people are shamed, disempowered, or made to feel undeserving, as these will make it harder to then feel their own light.

There is spiritual harm when spirituality has become so twisted and painful that it causes us to turn away from spirituality completely (as a sexual abuse survivor may turn away from sexual relationship or even emotional intimacy).

These are a few examples of spiritual harm.

Healing from Spiritual Abuse

The first step in healing from abuse is to recognize that something is not right. Perhaps abuse feels like too strong a word. You might start by asking, “Is there anything that happened that I don’t feel good about?”

Another good question is “Is there anything I would rather not expose?” As with other kinds of abuse, our sense of loyalty provides cover for questionable behavior. The “abuser” has often been a source of comfort and care at some point or is credited with our spiritual growth.

Finding a safe and trusted person to talk with about it may be your next step. It doesn’t need to be a professional, although it may be. There are various resources available for those recovering from spiritual abuse, including books, blog sites and networks, counselors. Some are oriented to people in a particular religious tradition; others are more general. As with any kind of abuse, it’s important to do your healing work.